i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
