Sponge bath it is.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My vagina just clenched in fear
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
