Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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