yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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