wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
