mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize