I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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