You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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