Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
