It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
