Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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