My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
