**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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