I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize