she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
