also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Screwed.edu
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize