:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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