Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
