My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
