i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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