so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
