if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
