You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
