So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i would one night stand the shit outta him
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
