im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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