Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
