is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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