You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
