i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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