Sry I called you an 8
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
