Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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