she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
