Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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