I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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