I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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