Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
