I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize