What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need to calm my uterus...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
