She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
