the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
