i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
