I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I just sharted jello shots
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