Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
