What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
