Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We left the knife in your bed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
