The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
