so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she looked like the before picture.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
