your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just found puke in my bra..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
