My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
