11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
