it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize