Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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