Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
