The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
