it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
