Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want you more than these girls want KFC
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
