Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Welp...herpes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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