I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
