Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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