if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
