i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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