Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
