From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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