apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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