It's like God shit irony all over that family
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
