Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
