he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
