You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
