I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
