No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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