There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
