I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My feet surprised me
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