i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
